Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Winter Wonderland?...pa-lease!

*WARNING*: An excessive amount of bitching and whining will be occurring through out this post. If you are are allergic to complaints, bullshit, or anything close to that matter, please be advised to walk away. I assure you; you will have a deathly reaction. Continue at your own risk.

 Seattle was expecting about 4 inches of snow last night. Yeah, according to Seattleites, it "never" snows here. Nevertheless, this is my second winter here and I have seen it snow at least 3 times. I am not a fan. It's beautiful, I admit that. Unfortunately, it's pretty damn scary too. I don't see sledding, snow tubing, snowboarding, skiing, or snowmen and snowball fights. I see icy roads, collisions, power outages, freezing to death, avalanches, or frostbite. Kids see snow days, I see boredom!
 Now take in mind, I have never driven in snow. Randomly, my sister or friends, have been the drivers. After seeing a couple of big trucks or SUVs slide down a street onto a busy traffic light, I basically took a big shit in my pants. I know that was gross, but there's no other way to describe the fear that erupted in me. Even so, I had to get out there sometime. I'm a nanny with kids to drop off or pick up from school. Today, I drove in the snow. Thankfully, the weather cooperated with me. It rained and the temperature rose. It didn't let the snow become black ice, or harden. Oh man, there IS a God, and he's obviously on my side.
 Next thing I did, was pee in the snow. LMAO! I'm kidding! I don't believe in literally freezing my ass off. I got creative and decided to write a special message for the people I love and miss back home. Did you know that Florida is currently the only state without snow!? Oh sweet, Sunshine state. How do I miss thee? Let me count the ways.
 Snow, Snow, Snow...ugh! It really gets me in a bad mood. Imagine a woman during PMS and who also hasn't been laid in a year! It's almost a restless and frustrated kind of feeling. I tell myself "No worries. Come summer, I'll be heading back to the east coast." It's actually bittersweet. I love the friends I've made in Seattle. I also love the experiences and memories, but it's time I move on. I gave Seattle a chance. The first year was tough, but the second time around, I poured 100% into it. It just didn't work out. My sister still lives here, and my AWESOME friends will continue to live in this beautiful city I recommend to visit only. hahahaha...Thus, I will be visiting often (never during winter, guys).


P.S. I never saw myself as the kind of person who dresses up just to go to the grocery store, but I don't see anything wrong with looking good. During the winter, "looking good" is just not perceivable. You need to bundle up, in order not to freeze to death; and some coats and jackets are just an eye sore. I will never understand how you can make yourself look attractive during a cold ass winter. See example below. Oh yea, real hot stuff there. ::cat calls::

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