Tuesday, January 4, 2011

WARNING: Not recommended for Men...

 Oh boy! A little heads up, my faithful readers, this post isn't for everyone. It was time for this to happen and I had to go with it. I'm sticking to my commitment. I said I was gonna post something new every day. Something I have never experienced. So, today I went to my first gyno appointment.
 Oh. God. Why?! Seriously, people! Why on earth were gynos ever created!? It is the most awkward, uncomfortable, most vulnerable experience I have ever witnessed. The fact that this appointment has made an educated 26 year old woman like me feel like a retarded prepubescent 12 year old, is still beyond me. I have never been the type to use "um's" and "like's" in my sentences, but stick me in a room with a gynecologist and somehow I'm a stutterer with "um's" and "you know's". I felt like slapping myself upside the head. Woman up, Gaby! Thank goodness I had a woman doctor! Can you imagine if I got stuck with a silver fox or worse, someone as old as my dad?!
"Yes, Doc. I would like you to take a look at this. Is it serious? Should I be worried?"
Then I start thinking, "Dear Lord, this could be my father! My dad could be looking at my vajayjay!"
 Judy Blume forgot to mention that Margaret eventually needs to make an appointment when her gyno and spread eagle! Blume, you're all lies! You prepare me for puberty and training bras, but you fail to prepare me for such manhandling! Wow...a lot of exclamation marks, huh? Well, what can I say? This was a experience for the books. One to go down in history.
 I'm choosing not to go too deep into this (refrain from making any jokes there, pervs), for the sake of our blossoming relationship. I don't want to lose your attention just yet. I rather gross you out further along in the year when I decide to eat cow brains, or when I choose to pierce my labia minora. HAHAHAHA yea....um right.

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